Sound Mail! Dear Beatrice, What street do you live on?
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May 30 2015

Dear Beatrice Weasley-Smyth,

My name is Margie O’Neil, and I live on 34 St. Stephens Road, Norwich, Norfolk, NR13RA, England (in the United Kingdom). What street do you live on? Someone told me that you live on the Norwich Lanes? Is that true? What is it like over there?

I hope that you write me back. I read in the local paper this morning -- the Eastern Daily Press, that is, do you get it over in the Lanes? -- that there will be no more paper driver’s license. Does that mean that paper is dead? Or has paper always been dead? Upon reflection, one would hope so.

To carry on, the sub headline in the newspaper article, which I found online and therefore might not be a newspaper article at all, read, “Another piece of paper which used to be so important is getting binned.” I do not think they should bin them. Perhaps they should just stop printing them. What do you think, Beatrice?

This paper counterpart will be invalid from June 8 and has been replaced with a digital service that allows drivers to securely view and share their up-to-date driving licence details. I suppose that is nice. We must move forward, mustn’t we?

Oh Beatrice, did you hear about Delia the Gorleston dove? A lady named Liz and her son Luke built a nest for Delia after the walnut tree in the front garden had been nearly knocked down and the mother flew away. Then the dove came back and tried to build a nest in Liz’s bedroom window. No luck! Liz and Luke stepped in to help using a fruit bowl, a hanger, some twine, and a bit of imagination.

I am telling you this, Beatrice, because I am going to head back to America next week. Did you know I am from America? Don’t you dare ask me which part -- it is simply America, that is where I am from: America. No part. Just the country.

I will try to build a nest there, and if I am lucky and the Lord is with me, a mother named Liz and a boy named Luke will help me, using a fruit bowl, a hanger, some twine, and a bit of imagination.

Have you ever said goodbye to someone? Perhaps you went out to lunch with them, and then perhaps, once the mushy peas have been eaten, and the conversation had ended, it became time to leave. One of you said, “Goodbye.” The other said, “See you later.” Has this happened to you? Or do you take everyone you’ve ever met with you wherever you go? Does this prevent you from wanting to speak to people ever, having to store so many people with you in your kitchen?

No, this is unlikely. You most likely must say goodbye. This is what it is like for me. I must say goodbye to people and I must never see or speak to them again.

That is why I will apply to the University of East Anglia and attend the university all over again! I was very excited when I first applied, after all. I will take a Masters in Staying Past my Bedtime.

Beatrice, I have been casually dating a man for roughly a year and a half. I want to say goodbye to him, even though I will be back. I asked him to play baseball with me on Thursday.

He did not answer.

Will you answer? I hope you write me back. Tell me all about the Norwich Lanes. What is the weather like over there? What are the people like? Do you have any hobbies? I’m dying to know!

I hope you keep it very much real, and may the weather serve you well. Goodbye, and sincerely,

Margie O’Neil.

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